Managing Social Anxiety During the Holidays

Managing Social Anxiety During the Holidays

While we are entering the “most wonderful time of the year”, the holidays can still be stressful…especially for those experiencing Social Anxiety. Social Anxiety can lead to feeling uncomfortable in social situations, even around family and friends. Below are some strategies to help manage your Social Anxiety (or generalized anxiety) during the holiday season.

1. Paced breathing
Sounds cliché, right? We breathe all the time, how is “paced breathing” any different? Paced breathing is an effective strategy for managing Social Anxiety because it helps us slow down and regulate our breathing, allowing us to calm both our body and mind. To engage in paced breathing, breathe in through your nose (inhale) for 4 seconds, hold your breath for 4 seconds, then breathe out through your nose (exhale) for 6 seconds. Exhaling longer than you inhale helps you slow your breathing and feel more relaxed. When inhaling, try to breathe deep into your belly,
picture inhaling air to fill a balloon in your stomach. Engage in this paced breathing for at least 3-5 minutes to help reduce anxiety. It may be helpful to excuse yourself and go into the bathroom, another room, or step outside to have a few minutes to yourself to use this skill. However, paced breathing is an effective coping strategy that can be used around others, which is great during the holidays!

2. Progressive muscle relaxation
Progressive muscle relaxation is another helpful strategy for calming down your body and mind when experiencing anxiety. One simple way to engage in this skill is to squeeze your hands into fists. Don’t squeeze your fingernails into your palms or squeeze so hard it hurts, just squeeze enough to feel some pressure. Hold the squeezing position for 10 seconds, then release for 10 seconds, and repeat. This
increases blood flow and allows you to focus on a sensation in your body. You can use this strategy with different parts of your body too (shoulders, thighs, etc.). You should also engage in progressive muscle relaxation for a few minutes to experience benefits. You can put your hands under the table to use this strategy which makes it another effective and realistic coping strategy to use when you’re in a social situation!

3. Set and maintain personal boundaries
It’s common to have trouble setting and maintaining boundaries during the holidays. There can be pressure from others, and from yourself to do things you may not really want to do. If you notice this being something that contributes to your Social Anxiety, you can spend some time reflecting on what you want your personal boundaries to be. What feels comfortable for you? What type of behavior would
align with your values? Establishing your boundaries could be deciding how much time you want to spend at a social or family gathering, or which topics you don’t feel comfortable discussing. Next, it’s important to decide how you will respond to maintain these personal boundaries. Will you tell your friends and family that you need to leave at a certain time? Will you politely, but confidently, say that you don’t feel comfortable discussing a certain topic or answering a certain question? Deciding both what your boundaries are and how you will enforce them is important for having a clear plan for social situations. Additionally, take some time to reflect on if you may be avoiding social situations because of your anxiety rather than boundary violations. Think about how your social experience could be different if you utilized paced breathing and progressive muscle relaxation to help reduce your anxiety. While you could be anxious about both social interactions and boundaries, it’s important for you to consider their unique influences on how you feel.

4. Find a therapist you trust
Working with a therapist is a great strategy for learning additional skills and strategies for managing Social Anxiety. Consistently meeting with someone who understands you and your anxiety can help address what’s causing you distress. Although many people experience Social Anxiety, there are still unique aspects of your anxiety that a therapist can help you explore. Try checking with your insurance provider about your options or call the office of therapy providers near you to ask about appointment costs and provider availability. Many Viewpoint Psychological Services providers have expertise in anxiety management. Please contact the Viewpoint office staff to inquire about these services. Call 859-442-8439 or visit our “Contact Us” page on our website.

You may also want to check out our latest online option: a self-paced video series using CBT to help reduce anxiety: Navigating a Stressful World: CBT for Anxiety. 
This is an online self help series is designed by our very own Laura Hensley, LPCC! Using short videos and downloadable worksheet pages, Laura guides you though learning and applying CBT strategies to help reduce your anxious thinking. (Use Promo Code VPSWEBVIP for $100 off!!).

Viewpoint Psychological Services wishes you a safe and happy holiday season!

About the Author:

Libby Wertz, M.A. is a third-year graduate student in Xavier’s Doctorate of Clinical Psychology program with an emphasis on working with children and adolescents. Libby enjoys working with children, adolescents, and young adults experiencing challenges associated with ADHD, anxiety, behavior management, emotion regulation, peer relationships, and self-esteem.

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